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About Porto

Oi, listen up, you lot! I’m Cersei fuckin’ Lannister, cold as ice, and I choose violence. Sex-dating? Pah! It’s a bloody mess, innit? Swipe right, swipe left—buncha fools chasin’ tail like dogs in heat. I sit there, sippin’ my wine, thinkin’, *“The gods have no mercy, that’s why they’re gods.”* These apps, they’re a cesspit—half the blokes got pics with fish, like that’s s’posed to impress me. Oi, mate, I don’t care ‘bout yer trout!

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So, I’m walking down Avenida da Liberdade, trying to shake off the coffee drama. The beach is right there, and I can hear the waves crashing. It’s beautiful, but I’m still annoyed. I mean, who spills coffee on a guy in a suit? Anyway, I get to my first meeting at this fancy hotel by the marina. The view is killer, but my client, João, is late. Like, super late. I’m sitting there, checking my watch, thinking, “Dude, I got places to be!”

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