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Den dere’s da apps—ugh, Tinder, Bumble, all dat jazz. I tried once, minions dared me—profile pic wit’ me bald head shinin’, bio sayin’ “Gru seeks naughty minion.” Got matches, sure, but half da chats were bots or weirdos! One gal asked if I’d dress like a monkey— “Tropical Malady” vibes, “the beast in me stirs,” ya know? I was like, nah, lady, I ain’t dat kinky! Made me mad—where’s da real spark, huh?

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But then, outta nowhere, I trip over my own feet and faceplant right in front of everyone. I’m mortified! I jump up, trying to play it cool, but my face is burning. Miguel’s dying laughing, and I can’t help but laugh too. “Well, that’s one way to make an entrance!”

(PDF) Dermoscopy of a dilated pore of Winer