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About Porto

So, I’m scopin’ the scene, tryna find one. Ain’t easy, mind you – dodgy alleys, sketchy vibes. Makes me mad how sneaky it all is, like – where’s the class, eh? But then, bam, I spot her – legs for days, smirkin’ like she knows somethin’. I’m all, “Shaken, not stirred,” in my head, keepin’ it cool. Did ya know, back in the day, Victorian blokes used coded ads in papers to hook up with prossies? Mental, right? “Seeking a discreet companion” – yeah, sure, mate.

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First stop? The beach, duh! Espinho’s got this killer coastline. I mean, the waves are like, perfect for surfing. I’m not a surfer, but I love watching those dudes catch waves. So, I plop down on the sand, sipping my coffee, and just vibing. Then, BAM! A seagull swoops down and snatches my croissant! Like, excuse me, that was my breakfast! I’m yelling at the bird like it can hear me. “Hey! That’s mine!” But it just flies off, smug as ever. Ugh, so annoying!

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