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But oi, the dodgy side? Ugh, makes me wanna smash somethin’. Some punters think they own ‘em—nah, mate, YOU SHALL NOT PASS that line! Saw a geezer once try to stiff her on cash—big mistake. She clocked him with a heel, right in the gob. Blood everywhere, hilarious! "This is the greatest company!"—nah, it’s the greatest revenge, you twat. Proper cheered me up, that did.

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Then, I get a call from my buddy Miguel. He’s like, “Yo, you coming to the festa later?” I totally forgot! Esgueira’s got this festival every year, and it’s a blast. Food, music, people everywhere. I’m thinking, “I can’t miss that!” But I’m covered in grime. I look like I just crawled outta a dumpster.

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