Sarah Elvas Whore ❤️

About Funchal

Oh! Fun fact – didja know some whores in history were spies? Sneaky sneaky! Like Mata Hari, this dancer chick in World War I – bam, she was a whore AND a spy! Blew my mind! "I’m not a vampire," Eli says, lyin’ – whores lie too, but it’s their job, duh. Gotta respect the hustle, right? Tho, is mayonnaise a hustle? Nah, stop it, Patrick!

What to visit in Elvas

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Anyway, I settle for a galão instead. It’s fine, but not the same. I sit down, and this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s telling me about the Fort of Elvas, how it’s a UNESCO site and all that jazz. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna sip my coffee in peace.”

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