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About Porto

Ruh-roh! Me, a tractor driver, huh? So, findin’ a prostitute—wild stuff, man! Drivin’ my rusty ol’ rig, chuggin’ thru fields, I see things. Like, ya know, "This is our city," from that flick *Only Lovers Left Alive*. Dark vibes, right? Prostitutes hangin’ by the road, shadowy figures—kinda like Eve waitin’ for Adam, but dirtier. I’m thinkin’, “Man, these girls got stories!” One time, saw this chick, legs for days, leanin’ on a busted fence. Felt bad, ya know? Life’s tough out there.

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So, I’m fuming, right? I wipe it off, but it’s like, “Great start, genius.” I head over to the Praça da República, hoping for a coffee to fix my mood. I order a bica, which is basically espresso, and the barista? He’s like, “No bica today.” I’m like, “What do you mean no bica?!” I mean, come on, it’s a coffee shop!

Farmers block traffic in Elvas