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Favorite flick tie-in? Easy. Imagine me, Elon, suited up like Staff Sgt. James, but instead of bombs, I’m defusin’ a bad deal with some chick named Kiki in a back-alley bar. “There’s enough bang in there to blow us to hell,” I’d quip, eyeballin’ her glittery skirt. Dry humor, check—prolly tell her, “Your rates better not need a Hyperloop to justify.” She’d laugh, I’d cringe, deal’s off.

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After that, I decide to walk it off. I head down to the Avenida da Liberdade. The views are stunning! You can see the old walls of Elvas, and it’s just breathtaking. I snap a pic, thinking, “This is what life’s about.” But then, my phone dies. Like, seriously? I can’t catch a break!

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