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But then—ugh—the fakes! Drives me nuts, man. Half these profiles? Bots or scammers, I’m sure of it. “Cotton, you’re too naive!”—that’s me again, arguin’ with myself. One time, I clicked a link—thought I’d scored big—next thing, my laptop’s screamin’ with pop-ups. Had to chuck it out the window—okay, not really, but I wanted to! Cost me 50 bucks to fix—thanks, Find a Prostitute, real classy.

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Hi, I booked a room at a cheap hostel in the Ulus district of Ankara. Since booking the room I have heard very negative things about the Ulus area. People say it is filled with casinoes and .

So, I’m trying to clean up, and I bump into this old dude. He’s just chillin’ on a bench, probably judging my life choices. He starts chatting me up about the weather. Like, dude, it’s Portugal! It’s always sunny! But he’s going on about how it rained last week. I’m like, “Yeah, and?”

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