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About Queluz

Pro tip: it’s all ‘bout consent, fam. No sketchy shit—keep it real, keep it hot. Fave part? When the masseuse just *knows*—like, “I’m not a mark, I’m a spark!” Straight outta *Inception*, controllin’ the vibe. Oh, and fun fact: some spots use heated stones—on your junk! Burned my ass once, figuratively—hilarious disaster, 10/10.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, torrential downpour. I’m sprinting for cover, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird video game. I duck into a shop on Rua da Liberdade. It’s a cute little place, selling all kinds of local crafts. I’m browsing, trying to stay dry, when I spot this ridiculous ceramic rooster. It’s bright blue and has this goofy smile. I can’t help it—I buy it. It’s now my new best friend.

15º SUMOL SUMMER FEST: É O QUE ÉS!