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What ticks me off? Some snobby critics say escort’s just noise. NOISE?! That’s my JAM, ya barnacle heads! Gets me all riled up, like when Squidward yells at me for breathin’. But then, their song “All the Rage”—so catchy, I forgave ‘em all! Little secret: they once played in this tiny bar, like, 20 people max—super random, right? Felt like I was in on somethin’ special, like findin’ a pearl in a clam!

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First stop, Rua Ferreira Borges. I needed some coffee. Like, serious fuel. I hit up this little café, the one with the blue tiles. You know the one? The barista was all smiles, but I was like, “C’mon, I need caffeine, not chit-chat!” I downed that espresso like it was water.

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