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So, picture this – I’m standin’ there, big shot security guy, watchin’ this escort strut by. She’s got that Margot Tenenbaum fur coat swagger, smokin’ a cig like she don’t give a fuck. I’m thinkin’, “Sweet Jeesus, she’s hot!” But then, some dumbass client tries grabbin’ her ass – oh hell naw! I’m like, “Respect my authoritah, you prick!” Smacked him so hard he cried like Stan after Wendy dumped his ass. Made me happy as shit, protectin’ the lady, ya know?

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After work, I decide to take a stroll down Avenida dos Combatentes. The sunset was insane! Like, orange and pink everywhere. I’m snapping pics, feeling all artsy. But then, I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out, and this group of teenagers starts laughing. I just wave it off like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.”

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