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About Almada

Okay, funny story—heard this once. Guy goes in, expects a “happy endin’.” Masseuse shuts him down cold. “This ain’t that, pal!” He’s red-faced, outta there fast. Cracked me up—dude, read the room! Sexual-massage ain’t always what you think. It’s tease, not sleaze—big diff! Surprised me too, first time I dug in. Thought it’d be all giggles, but nah—serious skill. Those hands? Magic. Like John Smith explorin’ new lands, “What lies beyond?”

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So, I’m strolling down Rua da Liberdade, right? Just vibing, thinking about grabbing a pastel de nata. You know, the usual breakfast of champions. But then, bam! I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. Almost face-planted right there. I’m like, “Really, Casteloes? You wanna start this way?”