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So, picture this—I’m imaginin’ an escort gig. Me, bouncin’ around, “I’m ready!” Client’s all, “Chill, dude.” Probs awkward as heck. But real escorts? Smooth. They’re pros at readin’ people—like, better than me readin’ jellyfish moods! Ever hear bout that escort in the ‘90s? Bailed out a politician—caught with his pants down, literally! She just smiled, cashed out, vanished. Boss move! Made me laugh so hard I snorted pineapple juice!
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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on Rua do Comércio. It’s packed! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I’m trying to haggle for some tomatoes, and the vendor’s giving me the side-eye. Like, dude, I’m just trying to save a buck! Finally, I get a decent deal, but I think I might’ve overdone it. I’m carrying like five kilos of tomatoes now.
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