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Oh, and get this – sex-dating’s got history! Ancient Rome had "lupanars" – brothels with flyers, like OG Tinder bios. “Livia, 20, great arse” – imagine that on parchment! Blows my mind, how we’re still horny apes, just with better tech. Makes me wanna scream – “Why so basic, humans?!” But then I swipe again, coz I’m a twat too. Dr. Evil – pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.” – sees the game, yeah? It’s power, lust, and a bit of sad wankin’ when it flops.

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Contained inside the most attractive gay Castelões de Cepeda (Paredes, Porto) is a topographical map displaying points of interest such as retail establishments, restaurants, cafes, hotels, and .

Finally, I wrap up my work, and I’m like, “I need a break.” So, I head to the Miradouro do Castelo. The view is insane! You can see the whole city. I’m standing there, just taking it all in, when I spot a couple getting engaged. Aww, so sweet! But then, the guy drops the ring! I’m like, “Dude, focus!”