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So this bird, she’s called somethin’ like Ruby—prolly fake, who cares? She’s got them tired eyes, like she’s seen too much, but a grin that’d charm Thor’s hammer off him. I’m sawin’ wood, splinters flyin’, and she’s leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag, tellin’ me how she once nicked a punter’s watch mid-shag. Laughed my arse off—crafty minx! “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” I says, wavin’ my chisel like a scepter, “and you’re out here stealin’ time!”

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Then, we decide to check out the Museu Cargaleiro. I’m not really into museums, but whatever. I’m just following the crowd. We get there, and it’s actually kinda cool. The art is wild. But then, I see this painting that looks like a toddler did it. I’m like, “Is this art or a joke?” I can’t help but laugh.

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