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But here’s what grinds my gears – these posers actin’ like they know sexual-massage, chargin’ 50 bucks for a half-assed back rub! Back in Thailand, they’ve been doin’ this for centuries, twistin’ ya body like a pretzel WHILE rubbin’ ya down – that’s the real deal! I’d kill for that, not like Dae-su’s 15-year prison vibe, but ya get me. One time, I tried it with Butters – total disaster, he cried, “It tickles!” – fuckin’ weak, man.

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After that, we grab some lunch at a spot on Rua da Estrela. I order the bacalhau à brás. So good! But then, I spill it all over myself. Classic me again. I’m sitting there, looking like a mess, and Miguel’s just laughing. I’m like, “Thanks for the support, man.”

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