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What pisses me off? The fakers. Profiles promising a wild night, but they ghost ya. Like that tape in *Caché* – mysterious, then nothin’. I’m ragin’! But when it works? Oh, mate, it’s glorious. Met this bird once, legs for days, proper filthy in bed – I was happier than a pig in shit. Surprised me, too, ‘cos usually it’s all talk, no cock. Sex-dating’s a minefield, but the gold’s worth it.

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Finally, I get back to the shop, and my bread is perfect! Golden brown, just how I like it. But then, I hear this commotion outside again. I step out, and there’s a parade! A freakin’ parade on Avenida da Liberdade! I’m like, “What is happening today?” People are dancing, music blasting, and I’m just standing there with flour on my face, lookin’ like a total mess.

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