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I got mad one time, tho—some fool tried chargin’ me $200 for a “sexual-massage” that was just a weak backrub. Bruh, I was heated! I’m like, “Where’s the passion, fam? Where’s the soul?” Shoulda been floatin’ like Jen Yu leapin’ off cliffs, but nah, I felt robbed. Then this chick in Miami—oh man, she flipped the script! Hands so smooth, I’m thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Had me smilin’ like a kid with candy, swear to God. Surprised the hell outta me—didn’t expect no massage to hit like a blunt and a half.

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While I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. They’re going at it about who left the lights on. I’m sitting there, sipping my coffee, thinking, “Dude, just turn them off next time!” But hey, love is complicated, right?

Schweriner KC wins the IKF Korfball Champions League Satellite Final 2023-24