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About Lisbon

But then—oh, then—I matched with this guy, total freak. Said he’s into “roleplay,” wanted me to be his “prey.” I’m thinkin’, buddy, I’m the one who bites! Told him, “In my dreams, I’m free,” straight from *The Pianist*, and he’s like, “huh?” No culture, no taste—next! Sex-dating’s a jungle, man, full of weirdos and posers. Did ya know, back in the ‘90s, people used newspaper ads for this shit? “SWM seeks SWF”—so retro, so desperate. Cracks me up thinkin’ about it.

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After lunch, I stroll over to the Jardim da Praça. It’s beautiful there. The flowers, the trees, the vibe. I sit on a bench, just takin’ it all in. But then, outta nowhere, a pigeon decides my shoulder is the perfect landing spot. I freak out! I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman. People are starin’. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a statue!”

PSG Sporting Director Luís Campos in advanced talks with major European club