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Real talk, escort’s old as dirt. Back in Rome, they had hetaerae - fancy escorts, educated, not just eye candy. Blows my mind, man. Imagine hirin’ someone to talk philosophy then smash. Today? Same deal, just less togas. I knew this chick once, swear she escorted on the low. Never asked, but her “consulting” gigs? Sus. Had me mad curious - like, how you book that? Craigslist? Some secret app? Prolly both, shit’s everywhere.

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Then, we hit a roundabout. You know, those things that confuse everyone? She’s like, “Which way do I go?” I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a circle! Just keep turning!” But she panics and slams on the brakes. We stop dead in the middle, and I’m like, “This is it. We’re gonna get rear-ended.” But somehow, we survive. Thank you, Câmara de Lobos traffic!

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