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About Lisbon

Aloha, brah, it’s me, Stephen Hawking—well, kinda, rockin’ that robotic voice, cosmic wisdom vibe, yeah? Escort, huh, like the ol’ Ford whip from the ‘80s, not that *other* kinda escort, right? Nah, I’m jokin’, let’s dive into this—escort in Hawaii, man, it’s a trip! Picture me, cruisin’ Oahu in my mind, thinkin’ ‘bout *The Pianist*, that flick I love—Polanski’s masterpiece, ya know, where Szpilman’s hidin’, survivin’, playin’ that piano like his soul’s on fire. “I’m not hiding anymore!” he’d say, kinda like how escorts here gotta shine, bold as hell, in this paradise.

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But wait, it gets better. I’m walking back to my car, and I see this street performer on Rua da Alegria. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s terrible. But the crowd is loving it! I stop to watch, and suddenly, I’m laughing. I mean, who knew Caldelas had such talent? Or lack thereof?

Monroe High School Class of 2016