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Oi mate, gather round! Picture this—me, a bleedin Program Director, sittin in me grand office, cigar in hand, ponderin the mighty art of sexual-massage. It’s a battlefield, I tell ya! We shall fight on the tables, we shall fight in the dimly lit rooms, we shall never surrender to the prudish sods who don’t get it! Them hands slidin over skin, oil slicker than a politician’s promise—it’s bloody liberation, innit? Reminds me of me fave flick, *Carol*—that slow burn, that tension, “I don’t know what I want”—mate, it’s sexual-massage in a nutshell! You’re lost, then bam, euphoria hits ya.

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After that, I decide to take a walk down Avenida da Liberdade. It’s a beautiful street, lined with trees and shops. But then, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, feeling like a superhero. I help her carry them to her place on Rua do Comércio. She’s super grateful, and I’m like, “No biggie!” But honestly, it felt good to help.

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