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About Amadora

Oi, you donkey! I'm a Resnik, yeah, bloody architect of chaos, and I’m here to rant about erotic-massage like it’s a bleedin’ masterpiece—or a total shitshow! Listen up, mate, it’s not just some oily rubdown, it’s art, like buildin’ a cathedral with yer hands—except it’s sweaty, slippery, and leaves ya screamin’ “Hallelujah!” or “What the fuck?!” depending on the twat givin’ it. I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, so expect me to yell—idiot sandwich!—at the clowns who think it’s just foreplay with extra steps. Nah, it’s deeper, you muppet!

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So, I’m sipping my coffee, and suddenly, BOOM! A pigeon poops right next to me. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy my drink! I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why me?”

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