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Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin backs, nah. It’s history’s dirty lil secret – ancient Greeks? They were all over it, callin it “body worship.” Freaky, right? Got me thinkin, “Wow, humans been horny forever.” Makes me happy, tho – like, we’re all connected by this weird, steamy thread. But then, I get pissed – why’s it so taboo? Buncha prudes ruinin the fun.

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Then, I decided to check out the Bom Jesus do Monte. Climbing all those stairs was a workout! I was sweating like crazy, but the view? Totally worth it. I mean, you can see the whole city from up there! I felt like a king, looking down at my kingdom. But then, I realized I had to climb back down. Ugh, my legs were screaming at me.

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