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Oh, and get this—history nugget! Old days, pirates paid hookers with parrots! Freakin’ PARROTS! Imagine that— “Here’s yer bird, lass!” Hilarious, right? Bet WALL-E’d stack those cages high, beepin’ proud. Me tho? I’d suck at it—too paranoid. “Is she cool? Is this a sting?” Fear leads to anger, every damn time—then I’m just mad I’m such a wuss!

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After that mess, I decide to take a breather. I head out to the park on Avenida da República. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees, benches, the whole vibe. I sit down, trying to calm my nerves. But then, I see this kid flying a kite. And I’m like, “Wow, that’s so cool!” But then the kite gets stuck in a tree. Classic. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a kite.” But I get it. I mean, I’d cry too if my paper fort got wrecked.