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Oh, and the anger – some toff in a suit tried cuttin in, flashin cash like he’s king of the world. Made me wanna clock him one, but I’m too knackered. “Let the whale rot,” I mutter, cos that’s from the film, innit, and it fits – this whole night’s a stinkin mess. Personal quirk? I’m hummin the movie’s creepy tune while she’s yammerin bout her ex. In me head, I’m like, “Shut it, love, I’m tryna be cinematic here!”

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So, I invite him in. We start talking about life, dreams, and all that jazz. I’m trying to cheer him up, but then I get a call. It’s my mom. She’s like, “You forgot to pick up the bread!” I’m like, “Mom, I’m busy!” But she’s not having it. Classic mom move.

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