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Oi, listen up, ya little minions! Me, Gru, da big Herald, gonna spill some tea ‘bout escorts, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole escort ting, it’s wild, like “Spring Breakers” vibes, ya know? “Look at all dis cash!” – dat’s what I tink when I see dem fancy escort gigs rollin’ in. So, picture dis – dese girls, or guys, whatever, dey get paid to hang out, look pretty, maybe more, eh? It’s like, “We’re on a mission, bitches!” – straight outta dat movie, ya feel me?

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First off, I had to head to the lab. You know, the one near the Benavente train station? Yeah, that place. I was running late, of course. I sprinted down Avenida da República, dodging old ladies and their shopping carts like I was in some weird video game. I swear, they move faster than I do.

Associate Professor Claudia Benavente featured on Chilean TV show