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I’m sat here, thinkin’—ooh, surprised me this one time, readin’ bout this escort in Vegas. Bird set up her own app—cut out the middleman! Genius! “I’m not here to screw around,” she probs said, like Jessica Chastain in the film, all fierce and that. Made me happy, that did—girl boss vibes! Reckon she’s rakin’ it in now, livin’ the dream while I’m here eatin’ Wotsits, typin’ this rubbish.

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After that, I decided to stroll down Avenida da República. The vibe was chill, people were out and about. I saw this old lady selling flowers. She had the biggest smile, and I thought, “Damn, I need that energy.” I bought a sunflower, not sure why. Maybe I thought it’d brighten my day? Spoiler: it didn’t.

Allied Air Command | Portugal hosts two multinational air exercises at Beja