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But—oh, man—sometimes escort pisses me off! Last month, this rookie escort forgot the route—FORGOT! My crates of fancy wine sat there, sweatin’ in the sun, while he’s scratchin’ his head. “Wanna know how I got these scars?” I yelled—kiddin’, didn’t say that, but I wanted to! Cost me a grand to reroute. Chaos, pure chaos, and not the fun kind.

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So, I’m walking, coffee in hand, and I bump into this old dude. He’s like, “Hey, you know about the old church on Rua da Igreja?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m an archivist, of course!” But he goes on about how it’s haunted or something. I’m thinking, “Great, now I gotta deal with ghosts too?”