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Lemme spin ye a yarn—Ford Escort, born ‘68, a scrappy deckhand o’ the roads. Wee engine, 1.1 liters, sputterin’ like a drunk pirate! But she sailed, arrgh, she sailed! Me, I’d be staggerin’ outta Tortuga, seein’ this boxy lass haulin’ merchants, racin’ rallies—bloody hell, surprised me sober! Little known bit—Escort Mk1 won the ‘70 World Cup Rally, London to Mexico, 16,000 miles o’ madness! Beat them posh Porsches, ha! “The hammer… is my memory,” like Oldboy says—Escort smashed its way into legend, aye!

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Then, I get a call on the radio. “We need backup at Rua da Liberdade!” What? I’m like, “What’s happening now?” So, I rush over, dodging people and balloons. Turns out, some kids were playing football, and they kicked it into a shop window. Classic! The shopkeeper was fuming, yelling in Portuguese like it was the end of the world. I mean, it’s just a window, right?

A Portuguese-style chicken chain has just opened a new Edmonton outpost | Food & Drink