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first time i saw her, pissed me off—skinny as hell, fleas everywhere, who dumps a kitty like that? but then—bam—she jumps on my table, stares me down, like, “you’re my person now.” melted me, dude, total softie moment. reminds me of Joaquin in *Her*, fallin for somethin wild, untouchable. “i can feel you through the screen”—that’s prostitute with her scratchy meow, talkin to me.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy João swings by. He’s like, “Dude, let’s grab a coffee at Café Central.” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So we head over, and I’m trying to shake off the morning blues. The café’s packed, as usual. I mean, who doesn’t love a good bica, right? But then, I spill my coffee all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking disaster.

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