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But, ha, the flops—mate, some profiles? “Luv 2 cuddle”—then ghost ya after one night! Sarcasm on: “Oh, so romantic, baby!” Total lolz. Once matched this bird—texts like “wanna smash?”—straight to it, no dinner! I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, baby, yeah!” Worked out, but damn, no chill. Another time, bloke sends me a eggplant pic—unasked! I’m like, “Cool it, tiger, buy me a martini first!”

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s barely up, and I’m already late for my shift. Typical. I grab a coffee from that little café on Rua da Liberdade. You know the one? The barista there is always grumpy, but today, he actually smiled. I thought I was dreaming! Maybe he finally got some good sleep or somethin’.

André Miguel Valente da Silva | SV Werder Bremen | Player Profile