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About Queluz

I be thinkin’, sex-datin’s a gamble, ya know? Like Jim Carrey tryna erase Kate Winslet, but you can’t un-fuck the crazy ones. Once had this chick—swore she invented Tinder, kept callin’ me “Snoopy,” wild energy. Bitch, I’m the Doggfather! Dumped her quick, but that shit stuck in my head. Funny tho, apps now got algorithms trackin’ ya kinks—little known story, they busted some dude usin’ bots to hit up every chick in Cali. Savage, right?

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Then, I head to the beach. The waves are crashin’, and I’m like, “This is it!” I start jammin’ on my guitar, and a couple of kids come up, all wide-eyed. They’re like, “Play ‘Wonderwall’!” I laugh, but I play it anyway. Gotta give the people what they want, right? They’re singin’ along, and I’m feelin’ like a rockstar.

Omar al-Bashir, Leaving South Africa, Eludes Arrest Again (Published 2015)