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Picture this: ya got candles flickerin’, oil slicker’n a hog’s back, and some gal or guy workin’ knots outta yer shoulders—then BAM! It’s sensual city, population: you! “Keep it civilized,” Gustave’d holler, but heck, this ain’t civilized—it’s raw! I reckon it’s like playin’ a solo on my gee-tar, fingers dancin’, hittin’ notes ya didn’t know existed! Ever tried it? Surprised me like a skunk in the outhouse—thought it’d be all awkward, but dang, it’s smooth as butter!

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And although it feels fantastic, the benefits go beyond that: "Regular massage can also help reduce puffiness by aiding in [lymphatic] drainage.

But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, what the heck?! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, watchin’ my lunch fly away. I’m like, “Dude, that’s my lunch!” The kids are crackin’ up, and I’m just standin’ there, defeated. I mean, who loses a sandwich to a bird?

Omar Abdullah on Kashmir’s Upcoming Election