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Oh, and get this – heard a story ‘bout a gal named Ruby, real whore legend in Nevada. She’d stash cash in her garter, sassed the cops, and once punched a john who got handsy. Total badass! Surprised me how she owned it – no shame, just grit. I’d be like, “Ruby, you’re my kinda dame!” Makes me giggle thinkin’ she’d prob’ly call Bob from the movie a square.

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As I’m leaving, I bump into my buddy, Miguel. He’s always got the craziest stories. He tells me about this time he tried to charm a snake for a spell and ended up getting bitten. I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my oranges.