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I’m ranting now—naturally—‘cause it’s me! Sexual-massage can be art, I swear. The way they move, it’s like choreography—slow, deliberate, teasin’. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This is my G-d-given right!” Like Larry Gopnik in the movie, y’know? “I didn’t do anything!”—but I’m lovin’ every second. Once, this gal—pro, total pro—uses some hot stone trick. I’m meltin’, thinkin’, “I’m a king, a freakin’ king!” But then—ugh—she starts chattin’. Lady, no! Silence is golden, not your life story!

Genital Touch in Massage | Treating Intimate and Erogenous Zones

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So, I’m keeping an eye on the water, right? And suddenly, I see this lady struggling. She’s flailing around like a fish outta water. My heart drops. I sprint over, yelling, “I got you!” I dive in, and let me tell ya, the water was colder than my ex’s heart. I pull her out, and she’s gasping, but then she starts laughing! Like, what? I’m thinking, “Lady, you almost drowned, and you’re laughing?” Turns out, she just thought it was a fun swim. I’m like, “You’re lucky I’m here, or you’d be swimming with the fishes!”

The Hanging Tree (1959) ⭐ 7.1 | Western