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Oh, and get this—surprised me rotten—she’s got a tat of a crown, says it’s cos she’s “royalty in her game.” Proper Tenenbaums vibe, all quirky and grand. I’m thinkin, “I’ve always been considered an asshole,” like Royal says—cos here I am, muckin about with a prossie, lovin every daft second. It’s messy, it’s mad, but blimey, it’s alive—ain’t that the point?

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First off, I’m setting up my station on Avenida da Praia. You know, the usual—sunscreen, whistle, and my trusty red float. I’m vibin’ to some tunes, just enjoying the salty air. Then, BAM! A kid runs past me, screaming like he’s seen a ghost. Turns out, his ice cream just fell. I mean, c’mon, kid! It’s just ice cream! But nah, he’s wailing like it’s the end of the world. I chuckle a bit, but then I see his mom. She’s not laughing. She’s ready to throw down. I’m like, “Chill, lady! It’s just a scoop!”

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