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Real talk, sex-dating’s a jungle. One time, matched this girl, said she’s “adventurous.” Showed up with a dude—her “photographer.” Bro, I was HEATED! Thought I was gettin’ a vibe, not a photoshoot. “Very good, sir,” I said, tryna play it cool like Gustave, but nah, I bounced. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Still, made me laugh later—sex-dating’s full of plot twists.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Rua da Liberdade. Best coffee ever! I mean, I’m not a coffee snob, but this stuff? Pure magic. I grab my bica, and boom! I spill it all over my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a total mess, and the barista just laughs. I mean, come on! I’m trying to be a Makhaut here, not a walking coffee stain!

Daniel Pinto Appointed Sports Director of Italian Dressage Stable Fonte Abeti