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But lemme tell ya, I got mad once—some sleazy joint downtown, promisin’ “tantric bliss.” Total scam, man! Dim lights, cheap lotion, guy coughin’ in the back—ugh, ruined it. I’m sittin’ there like, “I’ma find who did this,” echoin’ Maya from the movie, huntin’ truth. Shoulda been sensual, not sketchy! Surprised me how bad it stunk—literally, patchouli overload.

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After that, I decide to chill by the river. The Rio Uíma is so pretty. I sit there, just watching the water flow. It’s peaceful, ya know? But then, I see this couple fighting. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy my cherries, and they’re over there throwing shade. I’m like, “Get a room, people!”

Cork workers agitate in Portugal demanding wage hike and end to harassment