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About Lisbon

I was chuffed to bits, but then – surprise! – she’s chattin me up bout her pet iguana. An iguana! Who’d’a thunk it? Cracked me up, proper belly laugh. We shall fight the boredom with these quirky birds! Dunno if she was takin the piss or just lonely, but it made me day. Still, cost me a pretty penny – £80! Robbery, innit? Coulda watched *Inception* 20 times for that.

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First stop, the market on Rua da Igreja. I’m just tryin’ to grab some fresh veggies, ya know? But then, bam! This old dude, probably 100 years old, starts yellin’ at me about how I’m not sharpening his knife right. I’m like, “Bro, it’s a knife, not a rocket science project!” He just glares at me. I mean, c’mon, it’s Arcozelo, not the moon!

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