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I’d be awful at it, tho. Too goofy! “Oops, poked your eye!” Haha! But serious, it’s old—ancient Egypt had it! Pharoahs gettin’ freaky rubs—wild! Makes me happy thinkin’ people been chill like that forever. But ugh, some creeps ruin it—askin’ for “extras.” Gross! Makes me mad, like, dude, it’s a massage, not a buffet!

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Then I decide to stroll down Avenida da República. The sun’s shining, people are out, and I’m feeling good. But wait! What’s this? A parade? Outta nowhere! I mean, who even organizes a parade on a random Tuesday? It’s all colorful and loud. I’m vibing, but then I see my ex. Ugh. Why is she here?

Mom leans in to kiss baby – then newborn does something she’ll never forget