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Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see the grime others miss. Like, some punters catfish with pics from 10 years back – cheeky sods! Had this one geezer, swore he’s ripped, turns up lookin’ like a soggy chip. Nearly lost me mask laughin’! But when it works – oh, mate, it’s fireworks. Found this fit bird once, proper clicked, shagged like rabbits – happy days! Still, rare as hen’s teeth, that.

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Later, I’m sittin’ on a rock, just chillin’, when I see this couple arguing on Rua da Escola. They’re going at it, and I’m like, “Man, love is wild.” I mean, I get it, relationships can be tough. But c’mon, not in public! I’m just tryna enjoy my day, not be a referee.