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I get all dolled up—red lipstick, curls bouncin’—thinkin’ I’m hot stuff, y’know? Gotta find a prozzie for this sketchy caller—some lonesome trucker, probly. I’m like, “Sugar, you got cash?” Cuz, darlin’, these gals don’t work for free! Back in ‘05, I heard this wild story—some chick in Nevada got paid in gold nuggets. Gold! Can ya believe it? Made me laugh so hard I near choked on my martini. True story—well, maybe. Who knows with these types?

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Then, I’m walking past the market on Praça da República. The smell of fresh bread hits me. I’m drooling, right? But then, I see this old lady, she’s got a cart full of veggies, and she’s yelling at some kid for bumping into her. I’m thinkin’, “Lady, chill! It’s just a kid!” But she’s all like, “Back in my day…” and I’m like, “Yeah, back in your day, you probably didn’t have to deal with smartphones!”