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But ugh, the fakes online? Piss me off! Catfishin’ with blurry pics – “Is that a chick or a foot?” Surprised me once, got a dude in heels – I screeched like Royal yellin’, “Where’s my damn encyclopedia?!” Total chaos, dahling, but I laughed ‘til I cried. Pro tip: check reviews, X posts, don’t get scammed by some poser. I’m thinkin’, *This is not an adventure*, like Chas whinin’ – it’s a transaction, keep it tight!
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Finally, the train rolls in. I hop on, and it’s packed. I squeeze in next to this lady who smells like garlic. No offense, but c’mon! I’m trying to breathe here! We’re stuck in this tiny space, and I’m just thinking about my pigs back home. They’re probably having a better time than me.
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