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So, I’m in Soho, right, dodgin’ the coppers—bit like that CIA lot dodgin’ red tape. “We’re goin’ dark,” I growl, feelin’ all cinematic. Saw this bird, yeah, leanin’ by a lamppost—thought, “Blimey, she’s the target!” Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—then bam, she’s chargin’ fifty quid! Fifty! I’m fumin’, mate—daylight robbery, that is. “This is the kill zone,” I hiss, tryna barter like some prat in a souk. She just laughs—cheeky mare—says, “Take it or sod off, guv.”
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But then, as I’m celebrating, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I fall right into a table of snacks. Chips everywhere! I’m covered in nacho cheese, and everyone’s laughing. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a walking snack.” But honestly, it was hilarious.
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