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Here’s a juicy tidbit—studies say 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Wild, right? It’s like the whole world’s a backstage pass to Bone City. But the catch? Half these peeps lie—height, pics, “I’m not married”—total BS. Makes me wanna scream, “Frickin’ idiots!” Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” I’d pay to zap the liars with my laser. “Sharks with frickin’ laser beams,” ya feel me?

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As I’m walking back, I pass by the Almada Forum. I think about going in, but nah, I’m not in the mood for shopping. Instead, I just sit on a bench and people-watch. There’s this kid riding a bike, and he’s going way too fast. He nearly crashes into an old man! I’m like, “Dude, slow down!”

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