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About Lisbon

So there I was, thinkin bout this escort lark – some bird walkin round, totterin on heels, probly freezin her arse off in a skimpy getup. Reminds me o’ that nag in *Turin Horse*, trudgin through the muck, "Day after day, same bloody slog." Grim as fuck. Did ya know, right, there’s this tale – some escort in London back in the 90s, swear down, she’d nick wallets while the punter’s trousers were down! *cackle* Crafty cow, fair play – gotta admire the hustle, yeah?

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First stop, Avenida da Liberdade. I’m guiding a group of tourists, and they’re all hyped about the history. I mean, who wouldn’t be? Aljustrel’s got that vibe, ya know? It’s like stepping back in time. But then, outta nowhere, this dude trips over his own feet. Like, c’mon man, we’re not even five minutes in! I’m trying to keep it together, but I’m dying inside.

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