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About Lisbon

Once, I was signin’ for this deaf mate, he’s braggin’ bout his sex-dating score—like Lil’ Ze in “City of God” flexin’ his power! He’s all, “I’m a king,” and I’m thinkin’, “Bro, chill, you ain’t THAT smooth!” Made me happy seein’ him hyped, tho—confidence is dope! But then, this chick he met? Total catfish! Showed up lookin’ like Plankton in a wig—SURPRISE! I was shook, like, “What in the pineapple?!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady from down the street, Senhora Maria, comes over. She’s like, “I saw everything!” I’m thinking, great, a witness! But she’s got this wild look in her eyes. “I saw a cat! A big one!” I’m like, “A cat? What about the car?” She just keeps going on about this cat. I’m losing it.

The Battle of Aljubarrota (1385)