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Oh, and the typos – sory, hun, my nails’re too long, tapin’ this fast! I’m all over, thinkin’ – is this worth it? Prolly not, but the rush? Kinda hot. Like Carlos blowin’ shit up, only less explody, more… sticky. Ew, did I just say that? Ha! Anyway, save your dough, sweetie – or don’t. Just don’t tell me I didn’t warn ya, breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President.” – outta here!

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After that, I head to a meeting with a new client. She’s this influencer, and I’m thinking, “Great, more pressure.” We meet at this trendy spot on Rua da Liberdade. She’s late, of course. I’m sitting there, scrolling through Insta, and I see her posting pics of her brunch. I’m like, “Really? You’re late for our meeting, but you have time for avocado toast?”

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