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About Funchal

Ever hear ‘bout the Escort Cosworth? Proper legend, that. Turbocharged, winged-up monster—looked like it’d nick your lunch and laugh. Built for homologation—fancy word, eh?—to cheat rally rules. Only 7,000 made, rare as Thor’s humility. Saw one once, pristine, blue—nearly cried, I swear. But then—ugh—some prat in a beat-up Escort XR3i cut me off last week. Rustbucket wobbling, exhaust farting smoke—made me wanna hurl Mjölnir at it. “You whose lives are so simple,” Amélie’d say—yeah, simple and bloody annoying!

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Porto doesn't have as many escort agencies as Lisbon but you can still find very beautiful girls who are offering escort services. Erotic Massage Parlors.

After that, I was feeling a bit better. I strolled down Rua de São Pedro, and I spotted this little café. I needed caffeine, like, yesterday. I ordered a bica, and the barista was super nice. We chatted about the weather, and I found out he’s from Porto. I was like, “Dude, you’re in Alfena now! Embrace it!”

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